I think there's a vision that is in the mind of most returning missionaries. I generally think...oh when I get home I can read this book, watch this movie, go to this place, do this activity...and forget that normal people (as in not missionaries) have a busy life too! I read my families emails and hear what my friends are doing and realize that rest and relaxation are temporary in every day life. I'm thinking that coming off my mission it will be difficult for me to stay still. I still have some months left (thank goodness) but I don't think I'm looking forward to returning to a busy schedule of NON-missionary work. My schedule now is VERY busy...but it consists of things that are so worth while and I love doing that work. I can't even believe how rewarding missionary work really is! There are some down days and some hard times but they only help you to grow...and it's amazing to see that process. One of the down things we have to do in missionary work is drop people. I mean they are good people who want to meet with us but they are not progressing toward the goal of baptism...and that is why we come. At first it might not be the reason we come but later on it should become the reason the person keeps having us over. I want to tell two stories of people we've had to drop or who have dropped us:
Tracy
She was meeting with the Sisters before I came into the area...but the lessons we kind of on pause because she got into a car accident. Then she was having doubts about God loving her...and why would this happen to her when she's trying to do something good. So alot of lessons were focused on faith and such. Then she had surgery on her knee because of it. So it's in the healing process. Well like a week after the surgery she tripped over some clothes in the hallway and bent her knee all the way calf to thigh. It hurt! And it was spazing out as she put it. And she took some pain pills and went to bed. Well her son (12 and a member of the church) prayed that Heavenly Father would heal his mom because she's been in such bad pain. The next day Tracy could bend her knee. She could sit indian style, march, walk, and more. She said it's kind of tight but it doesn't hurt!! It was pretty much healed. She got all skeptical and asked the doctor if there was any way her fall could have HELPED her knee...and he said "you shouldn't even be WALKING" It was for sure a miracle. Well we think things will go well from here on out...but she calls and tells us that she doesn't want to meet anymore. She didn't say exactly why but here's why: she knows it's true and NOW has to change...and is NOT ready for that change! So while she's dropped I know one day she will be ready. There is no way she can't know that Heavenly Father loves her...I know how much Heavenly Father loves her because of how much even just I care about her.
Fred
A great guy. He's gone to church for years. His wife was baptized 5 years ago. He knows everything is true but is AFRAID of breaking the commandments. We went throught the first 3 lessons of Preach my Gospel and the next one was about the commandments but we didn't feel that teaching him those was really going to help him want to be baptized! He said he wanted it but when came down to it he couldn't commit. We had to drop him after teaching him for 2 months! It's sad but we both feel that it will help him to know and pray about what he really wants.
So these don't have happy endings YET! But I know that the spirit has touched both of these individuals and that they just need to accept it! That's what is comes down to 2Nephi 31:1...we can only bring it UNTO the people's hearts but they have to let it in. Agency plays a key role in our work and sometimes it's frustrating but I will never deny that the people we teach have felt the spirit and now it's their turn to act. I pray for them...I love them...and I know it will come when they are ready. Christ stands at the door and knocks....are we going to let Him in?
Love,
Sister Page
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